Cornelia Maude Spelman: Missing: A Memoir

Missing: A Memoir – Cornelia Maude Spelman – Jackleg Press – 9781737513445 – Paperback – 176 pages – $17.00 – July 15, 2022 – ebook versions available at lower prices

Cornelia Maude Spelman is best known as a children’s book author. This memoir of her family was spurred by her meeting with and friendship with the late New Yorker editor William Maxwell (himself an extraordinary writer as well), who knew her parents in the 1920s when they were at the University of Illinois together.

Cornelia plainly admired and enjoyed the company of Maxwell, but also was fascinated that he knew her parents before they had children, before their lives went in different directions than Maxwell’s. At one of her meetings with him, she suggests that her parents’ lives were not successful in the terms they had hoped for. Maxwell gently tells her that “in a good novel one doesn’t look for a success story, but for a story that moves one with its human drama and richness of experience.”

It was Maxwell who prompted Cornelia to explore and tell the story of her parents. This memoir tells that story. Spelman spent years exploring the history of her family. It’s a wonderful exploration, full of side trips and thoughtful reflections, and much that anyone interested in the mysteries of their family members will appreciate. Superman was luckier than most of us, in that she was able to meet with people who knew her parents when they were young. Most of us get interested in these stories far too late in our own lives to be able to talk to people who actually knew our older family members, or who, if still around, can remember anything meaningful to tell us.

Spelman’s research is extensive too. She goes to Iowa and Illinois to track down places and information details of her family history and to find people who know something about her parents and their parents. She recounts letters and interviews, even finding medical records and telegrams to help fill out stories that would otherwise be invisible or lost. Importantly Spelman is able to reconstructs her mother’s life and death, as well as that of her long lost brother. Cornelia’s writing is excellent and her storytelling compelling, so that even though we are not connected to the people about whom she writes, we can feel how she feels about them and about herself as she searches out and tells these “missing” family stories.

Cornelia is always honest with us about her disappointments, as well as what she learns that brings her joy and closure as well. This book is warm, profound, and honest. At the end, we know there is still much that will always be missing, but so much more that has been found.

Cornelia Maude Spelman, MSW, was a family therapist before she became a writer and artist. She’s written eleven books for children that help them manage emotions and difficult life situations. Her The Way I Feel series of books for young children has sold several million copies and been translated into Chinese, Korean, Spanish, Greek, Japanese, German, Arabic, Turkish, Danish, and Russian. Cornelia has earned awards from the Illinois Arts Council and was awarded the Bernard De Voto Fellowship in Nonfiction at Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference. This is her first book for adult readers.

It was truly a pleasure to speak with her about this book and her journey to write it.

Author website
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William J. Peters: At Heaven’s Door-What Shared Journeys to the AfterLife Teach about Dying Well and Living Better

At Heaven’s Door – What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach about Dying Well and Living Better – William J. Peters – with Michael Kinsella – Simon and Schuster – 978-1-9821-5042-6 – Hardcover – 248 pages – $26.00 – January 18, 2022 – ebook editions available at lower prices

William Peters is a therapist who had worked for many years with people at the end of their lives. In 2000, when he was volunteering at the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco , he experienced something very similar to what mystics describe and what some people who have been close to death have reported, the sense of floating in midair, completely out of the body. In this case, he was with his patient in this “other dimension” and the dying person looked at him and smiled. Peters himself returned to his body, but the patient remained unconscious and soon died.

This powerful experience set Peters off on what has become the journey of his life’s work. He began searching for other people who had had similar experiences. He spent more than twenty years finding people, talking to them, and meticulously categorizing their stories to identify the patterns and characteristics of what he calls the “shared crossing” experience. What is really interesting is how similar all these experiences are, regardless of age, gender, background, cultural origin, etc. Many of these stories are included in this book, as people have had visual and sensory effects that are to them evidence of another dimension, that brought with them powerful emotional after-effects that in most cases stayed with them and completely changed their understanding of reality.

Apparently this kind of experience is known to many in the hospice community and even some otherwise rationalist medical practitioners. The book is filled with stories of all kinds, some are spouses and parents of loved ones lost either suddenly or after long illnesses, and some stories are told by individuals who were simply present at someone’s final passage and were chosen to share the experience, or in some cases to help usher the dying person into the light of this “afterlife” dimension.

After years of research and documentation, Peters has a lot to say about what all of these experiences might mean for us – the living. Regardless of our outlooks and beliefs, we all want to know what will happen to us when we die, and those who have shared in the death experience as reported here might allay our all too reasonable fear and help explain what comes next. Our culture does not embrace the experience of death as many other cultures have done – our medicine tries desperately to stave off death, and we are all so attached to living, with no training or understanding of death, we push it away completely.

It does not matter whether you embrace or reject the stories told here, or the literal descriptions of the “afterlife” and the other dimensions the dying experience. Maybe what we experience at death is just a biological projection, after all. Whatever you may choose to believe, knowing more about death, understanding the end-of-life passage, and better integrating it into our lives is important for our psyches.

William Peters is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project and director of its Research Initiative. He has spent many years studying end-of-life experiences. Peters worked as a hospice volunteer with the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco and as a teacher and social worker in Central and South America. A practicing grief and bereavement therapist, he holds degrees from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education and UC Berkeley.

I had a terrific conversation with William Peters. The book, and my conversation with the author have stayed with me and I continue to explore where it has taken me. It appears to be a simple book, but comes with many layers of understanding and thoughtfulness for the attentive reader.

Visit the Shared Crossing website here.

Buy the book here.

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Susanne Paola Antonetta: The Terrible Unlikelihood of Our Being Here

The Terrible Unlikelihood of Our Being Here – Susanne Paola Antonetta – 978-0-8142-5780-7 – 248 pages – paperback – February, 2021 – Mad Creek Books – $22.95 – ebook editions available at lower prices

Sometimes one literally chances across a terrific book; it appears unbidden and takes over one’s complete attention. A surprise appearance in the daily maelstrom of life. This remarkable memoir by Susanne Paola Antonetta did just that for me, striking me like a lightning bolt out of the blue, and completely altering the trajectory of my thinking.

I’ve read alot of books and loved many of them. This book stopped me in my tracks. Reading it over the course of a few evenings, this author made me think and feel and understand another person’s experience, her deeply felt and beautifully described mind and being. That is quite an accomplishment and makes this a very special book indeed.

Antonetta brings us into her youth, the place of “Summerland” and her family’s life on the marshy border of the ocean in southern New Jersey. Like the descriptions of physics and astrophysics she intersperses between her memory pieces, her description of this place, the people in her family, and her own life are simultaneously dreamlike and definitive.

Her grandmother and mother are key figures throughout. And then she introduces her own experiences with bipolar disorder, drugs, and the trauma of electroshock treatment woven together with those brilliantly written descriptions of ideas in neuroscience and physics, and then there are her conversations with psychics and meditations on understanding their messages from inter-dimensional spaces. What a journey!

This is a memoir with great power and beauty, taking us into the past, the present and realms beyond, where ideas and perhaps the ground of being may or may not be found.

I won’t tell you much more about the book. I think you need to discover it for yourself. I loved it, and I really enjoyed speaking to Susanne as well. we had a terrific talk about this book and her writing.

This is a book I intend to re-read and work to understand more fully. Once is not enough.

“Antonetta tackles nothing less than consciousness and existence, employing an amalgam of science writing and mysticism. It’s hard to imagine another writer who could not only make such a project work but also make it seem natural and necessary.” —Robin Hemley, author of Borderline Citizen: Dispatches from the Outskirts of Nationhood.

Susanne Paola Antonetta is has written a number of books, including Make Me a Mother, Curious Atoms: A History with Physics, Body Toxic: An Environmental Memoir, A Mind Apart: Travels in a Neurodiverse World, a novella, and four books of poetry. Her work has been published in a variety of newspapers and magazines, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, Orion (one of my favorite magazines), the New Republic, and others. She lives in Bellingham, Washington.

Visit Susanne’s website for more information about her and her work.

You can buy the book from Bookshop.org.

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